if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
