the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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