this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
