What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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