well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
