did you get engaged???
too bad you live with your parents still
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
