2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Even my vagina gasped.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
