whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
