His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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