those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
