All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
