I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
