I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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