I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
