hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
