Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
