Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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