She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize