So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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