i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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