i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
