so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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