i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
