He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
