maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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