also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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