my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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