I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
