He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
