I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
