can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
