32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
