fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
