omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
