I think my fart just growled at me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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