what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
