toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
