Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
