We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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