I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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