She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
