Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
