Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
