Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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