I wish life had little blips of pornography
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
