eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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