You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
