Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
