look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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