Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
