Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
