Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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