you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
