If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize