They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
