We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
