i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
