D3 body, D1 cock
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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