i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
