What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
