people are starting to question the shark bite story
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
