Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
50% drunk capacity currently
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
