you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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